The worst aspect of liking things is that I also like to buy things and sometimes I become overwhelmed with the buying of things - I simply MUST have that something RIGHT NOW - it's all quite childish and tantrum-y and unbecoming and I've been thinking recently about WHY an otherwise composed adult such as myself might act in this horrible manner.
And I remembered a little story.
When I was maybe five or six my mom and I went to "Children's World" a giant department store in the middle of Moscow that carried only products for children - sometimes there was less merchandise, sometimes more, this was Moscow [still Soviet Union even] in the 80s. On this particular day there was a great commotion in the toy department and a great mass of people crowded around the display cases - I could not get close, but my mother did - she came back and said: "They are selling toy utensil sets, forks and knives and there is even a little grater." "Would you like to wait in line and see if we can get it for you?" she asked. AND I SAID "NO." Because at that particular moment in my life I had not yet learned to say "Yes" when I wanted something and because the line was really really long and I felt bad that we would waste the whole afternoon there. So we went home, or to the park, or wherever we were going.
But that night when I was going to bed I told my mom, quietly, that I actually really wanted the toy grater.
And she said that she would go back tomorrow and see if she could get it for me.
But the next day she was busy and the day after that, and by the time she went back they were all sold out.
AND I STILL THINK ABOUT THE TOY GRATER SOMETIMES. And that, I think, is at the root of it all.
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